;;Out Came the Sun” for chamber orchestra was commissioned and premiered by the Orpheus Chamber Orchestra at the Carnegie Hall on December 2, 2017. It is written for chamber orchestra consists of flute, oboe, clarinet, bassoon, horn, timpani, celesta, and strings. The commission offer came about during the Summer of 2016, only a few months after my son, Leo, was born. I immediately thought of composing a work about the profound and challenging experiences of birth-giving for women. The first week of being a new mother was absolute bliss. What I did not anticipate were the dark emotions, which developed rapidly after Leo was born. Suddenly, tears overcame me for no reason and feelings of mourning, anxiety and loss suddenly appeared without warning.According to the American Pregnancy Association, around 80 percent of women experience various postpartum mood swings shortly after childbirth often referred to as ;;baby blues”. Fortunately, these ;;blues” usually go away within two to three weeks. Gradually, my tears dried out and I started being able to trust the joy of being a new mother. While the depression lasted for a short time (compared to the 40-week pregnancy, or to the longer process of raising a child), the experience was so profound that I felt compelled to compose a work about it.Since the time of Brahms, there has been a tradition among certain composers to write lullabies for young children, which I unavoidable did during my recent pregnancy. Imagining sweet happiness, warm emotions and love at first sight, I weaved these fanciful thoughts into a lullaby, which became the foundation for my ;;Out of the Sun” for chamber orchestra. The music I have composed suggests the extreme bliss of childbirth, the melancholy and struggling thereafter and the mysterious transformative process which leads to final resolution and peace.After the atmospheric opening, we hear a dreamy texture with rapidly moving octaves and arpeggios by the celesta and subtle string harmonics. Alluding to Shostakovich’s dark ;;Invasion Theme” from his ;;Symphony No. 7,” and to Ravel’s obsessive ;;Bolero”, the middle section features a somber melody accompanied by a pulsating rhythmic ostinato, which darkens harmonically, and intensifies rhythmically upon each repetition. This ;;slippery slope” into postpartum angst unfolds in precise design and calculation: individual parts, which are first carefully aligned, gradually fall apart in a semi-aleatoric manner. However, by the time the final melody/ repetition is presented, the music has evolved from a painful and depressing undercurrent into an optimistic children’s ;;lullaby”, first heard in the celesta. Composed during my pregnancy, this childlike lullaby represents the peace, resolution, and joy I would eventually experience as a mother of newborn.
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