Many books have been written on the subject of death, detailing the grieving process experienced by the survivors. This paper is not intended as a rehash of the death and grieving process which leads one through denial and anger and finally to acceptance. Nor is it a denunciation of the funeral industry which some have attacked as a greedy business which takes advantage of vulnerable survivors and their guilt. Those subjects have been well covered. Rather, it proposes to be an historical glimpse at how American families externalized their grief near the end of the twentieth century. They have expressed their emotions on stone, in poetry, obituaries and In Memoriam columns. Since the subjects of grave markers and epitaphs have been widely researched already, this paper will restrict itself to published expressions of grief, i.e., obituaries, In Memoriams, or poetry.
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Obituaries and in Memoriams: American Death Poetry