In April, 1995, I was asked to explain what I meant by the term "The Global Computer" and what the implications were of building one. Feeling particularly clever, I put together what I loosely call a screenplay. Our intention was to put on a show at a coffee talk, but we never got around to it. (My manager was going to play the cat.) I present it here as originally prepared, with only some typographical errors fixed. Footnotes contain comments added for this report. The play is quite silly, but it demonstrates a vision of the future that seems more probable now than it did seven years ago. 23 Pages